I have some very important local news: Funland’s Haunted Mansion is getting a makeover.
As Delmarva’s local drag queen, I feel uniquely qualified to speak on this. I know a thing or two about transformations. New wig. New makeup. New outfit. Different eyebrows every weekend. Sometimes even a new personality.
The Haunted Mansion has been doing the same look for more than 45 years, so honestly … work, queen. She’s earned a refresh.
Here’s the deal: This is the last summer to ride the original Haunted Mansion before it closes after the 2026 season for a major renovation. It’ll spend 2027 getting rebuilt before reopening in 2028, and Funland is even bringing back Jim Melonic, one of the original creative minds behind the attraction, to help make sure it still feels like the Haunted Mansion we all know and love. That’s like calling your original drag mother and saying, “Help me get back into drag.”
I love the Rehoboth Boardwalk because no matter how many times I go, I somehow have the exact same evening.
I tell myself I’m “just taking a walk.”
Twenty minutes later, I’m holding boardwalk fries, Fisher’s Popcorn, something covered in fudge, and I’ve somehow spent $18 trying to win a stuffed animal shaped like a pickle.
Then I end up at Funland because, let’s be honest, no trip to Rehoboth is complete without hearing someone scream from inside the Haunted Mansion.
Usually … it’s me.
And can we talk about haunted houses for a second? Why do we all act so brave in line?
“Oh, it’s fake.”
“I know where everything is.”
“I’ve ridden this a hundred times.”
OK, tough guy.
Then one skeleton pops out, and suddenly you’re grabbing your wife’s arm, your kid’s arm or some poor tourist from Pennsylvania who didn’t ask to be part of your emotional support system.
The Haunted Mansion has been humbling people for decades, and honestly, I hope the renovation keeps that tradition alive.
So here’s my challenge: If you’re heading to Rehoboth before summer ends, take one more ride through the original Haunted Mansion. Appreciate the cheesy ghosts, laugh when you scream even though you swore you wouldn’t, and get excited for what’s next.
Because if there’s one thing I’ve learned in drag, it’s this …
A good makeover doesn’t change who you are.
It just reminds everybody why they fell in love with you in the first place.
